Too often, negotiators walk into a room believing their power is solely defined by their title, budget, or authority. The reality, however, is that genuine negotiating strength is a matter of perceived risk and consequences, not position. This crucial insight explores the psychological dynamic known as the Perception of Power—revealing how you can shift the balance and gain an AdvantEdge even when your resources seem limited.
Perception of Power: How Mindset Trumps Position in Negotiation
🧠 Lesson from a Prison Cell
In “You Can Negotiate Anything”, Herb Cohen shares a story that perfectly captures how power in negotiation is often a matter of perception, not position.
The Prison Paradox: Shifting the Risk Dynamic
🚪 A prisoner, locked in his cell, asks a guard for a cigarette.
The guard refuses.
The prisoner calmly says:
“If I don’t get it, I am going to bang my head against the concrete wall till I am a bloody mess and unconscious. When the prison officials pick me off the floor and revive me, I will swear you did it”.
Suddenly, the dynamic changes.
The guard realizes that saying no could mean serious trouble for him – investigation, blame, paperwork, punishment.
Saying yes costs him nothing.
Moments later, the prisoner gets his cigarette.
Cohen’s Core Insight: Power is a Belief System
💡 Cohen’s insight:
“Power is based on perception.
If you think you’ve got it, you’ve got it.
If you think you don’t, you don’t.”
The prisoner had no real authority. But by making the guard imagine the consequences of refusal, he shifted the perception of risk — and therefore, the power.
Strategic Takeaways for Influencing Perception
🔹 Power is rarely absolute — it exists only in the minds of those at the table.
🔹 Your composure, preparation, and confidence can shift perception in your favour — even when you have fewer resources or leverage.
🔹 The way you see yourself determines how others respond to you.
When you walk into your next negotiation, ask yourself:
👉 What perception of power am I projecting?
👉 And how can I influence how the Other Party perceives theirs?
The most critical piece of leverage you possess is your ability to control the narrative. By mastering your composure and focusing the other party on the risks of saying ‘no’ rather than your lack of resources, you fundamentally change the power equation. Start training your mind to project unshakable authority, regardless of your official title.
Elevate your ability to influence and lead complex negotiations. Explore Negotiation and Influencing Capabilities today.
